Finding Balance: The Transformative Journey for Mothers.

Self Compassion for Mothers:

Being a mother is an incredibly rewarding experience, but it can also feel overwhelming at times. Many of us often feel an urgency to prioritise the needs of our children, family, and friends above our own. This comes from a place of love and, when it comes to our children, a deep sense of necessity. However, the reality is that neglecting our own well-being can lead to burnout and hinder our ability to be the happiest versions of ourselves.

I want to be especially mindful as I write this, knowing that for some of us, the idea of self-care may feel completely out of reach. I remember when you're just trying to get by, scraping to meet the basic needs of yourself and giving everything to your family, the thought of prioritising your own well-being can seem impossible. I acknowledge that reality, and I don't want to diminish the challenges you face.

In this blog post, I want to share my personal journey of discovering the power of "self-care" and how learning that it is ok to focus on myself, improved my role as a mother. I recognise that every mother's journey is unique, like different paths in a forest. Our support networks, finances, and life circumstances all vary greatly. However, many of us carry a deeply engrained pressure to be selfless, often feeling guilt or shame if we try to carve out time for ourselves. Struggles with self-worth, low self-esteem, inherited beliefs and a dysregulated nervous system can make it feel unsafe or indulgent to prioritise our own needs.

Regardless of our individual situations, I believe the desire to be the best version of ourselves for our families is universal. By sharing my story, I hope to plant a seed of inspiration for other mothers to explore what self-care could look like for them, in a way that feels accessible and empowering. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, as each of our paths will be as unique as the women walking them. Even the smallest step towards self-compassion can make a difference.

Recognising the Importance of Self-Compassion:

At one point, I believed that "self-care" was a luxury reserved for those who had the time or resources. Even just reading this blog would probably have p*iss*ed me right off. However, I came to understand that taking care of myself was essential—not just for my own well-being, but for the well-being of my family. It was about finding balance and making myself a priority, guilt-free. I discovered that by being kinder towards myself, I felt less resentful. Just like filling a cup from a well, we can only pour out what we have; if we're running on empty, we have nothing to give and I hadn't thought of it like that before.

Understanding My Nervous System:

For much of my life, I operated in a constant "on-the-go, needs to be done now" mindset. I felt trapped in a cycle of busyness, and in that state, self-care felt completely out of reach. It wasn't until I reached a point of burnout that I became more aware of my nervous system and the patterns I had developed over time, which I believe is what made me feel so consumed and stuck. This newfound understanding allowed me to start slowing down and intentionally incorporating better self-care practices into my routine.

I recognise that others may face very different challenges that require unique approaches. Just because my path looked a certain way doesn't mean yours will too. I encourage you to take a moment to check in with your body and observe how it responds to stress. Becoming more attuned to the signals our nervous systems send can be a powerful first step in reclaiming our well-being. Looking back, I can see how my own stress response had prevented me from ever truly considering self-care as a viable option. But with patience and self-compassion, I was able to break that cycle.

Prioritising My Physical Health:

Taking care of my physical health became a crucial focus. I incorporated regular lymphatic drainage treatments with the Body Ballancer compression suit into my routine, which I also offer to others. I found joy in activities like longer dog walks, getting out in nature when I could and cold water swimming. These experiences not only improved my physical health but also uplifted my mood and energy. I acknowledge that not everyone has access to the same resources, and self-care can take many forms, even simple practices that fit within one’s lifestyle. What small changes could you make to nourish your body today? Whether it’s a brisk walk or a quiet moment with a cup of tea, every bit counts.

Nurturing My Mental and Emotional Well-being:

I explored free practices like meditation, journaling, breathwork, and engaging in joy-inducing activities, which for me was getting outside or taking a bath. Initially, I struggled with both journaling and meditation; they didn’t come naturally to me, especially when my brain was working on overdrive. It was like trying to untangle a bunch of knotted strings—frustrating at first! However, the more I committed to these practices, the more I witnessed their power in helping me figure things out. They enhanced my mental clarity and emotional resilience, allowing me to create a greater sense of inner peace. Remember, it’s important to find what resonates with you, as tools like these can be incredibly empowering. Have you given yourself the space to explore what helps you find calm?

Investing in Personal Growth:

A transformative part of my self-care journey was my body beginnging to feel safe enough to embrace self-reflection and cultivate self-awareness. While initially uncomfortable, this practice allowed me to connect deeper with my intuition and gain valuable insights into my thoughts and emotions. I also found immense value in reading personal development books and participating in many in-person and online training courses that expanded my understanding of myself and the world around me. I recognise that personal growth can occur in many ways, and it’s important to honour each individual’s path, much like each flower in a garden blooms at its own time.

Cultivating a Supportive Network:

During my journey, I realised how vital it is to have a supportive network. I was able to attend a transformative retreat where I connected with women on similar paths. This community offered validation, support, and a sense of belonging. Through healing ceremonies, meditation, yoga, and meetups, I found a network of like-minded individuals who understood the challenges women face today. Being part of this community empowered me, reminding me that I wasn’t alone in my journey. I encourage you to seek out your own supportive circles in whatever way feels accessible and aligned with your needs. Even connecting with one or two other mothers who "get it" can make a world of difference. I have found sharing our experiences can create a ripple effect of positivity.

Setting Boundaries and Practicing Self-Compassion:

Learning to set boundaries and say no when necessary has been crucial. But took a lot of unlearning to do so. Not only is this helping me take better care of myself, but it also teaching my daughter about how to manage her own self-respect and self-care. Practicing self-compassion has allowed me to acknowledge my imperfections and embrace mistakes with less judgment. Through this, I aim to create a nurturing environment for my daughter’s growth and well-being, reminding her that it’s ok to be imperfect.

Conclusion:

Investing in myself through self-compassion has been transformative in my role as a mother. By prioritising my own needs, I am becoming a happier, more fulfilled, and present person. Taking care of myself allows me to show up for my daughter with more energy, patience, and love.

Life still throws curveballs, and I still find myself reacting and feeling overwhelmed at times. However, I can now recognise these feelings without becoming consumed by them or getting stuck. This awareness allows me to navigate challenges more effectively and reminds me that it's ok to seek support when needed. Just like weathering a storm, we can emerge stronger when we allow ourselves to feel and heal.

You are deserving of so much, and it is not selfish to prioritise your well-being. Start small, be consistent, and watch how prioritising yourself too can make all the difference.

Love always, Jen

xxx

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